Ammiro chi accetta solo il meglio per se`, chi sa dire di no, chi crede nel proprio valore sempre e comunque.
Io mi sono laureata con il massimo dei volti, ma studiavo 10-12 ore al giorno per preparare un esame universitario, fino allo sfinimento.Non vivevo.Volevo una laurea per dimostrare agli altri che valevo qualcosa, pur essendo figlia di due genitori disastrosi e membro di una famiglia socialmente emarginata.
Io mi sono laureata con il massimo dei volti, ma studiavo 10-12 ore al giorno per preparare un esame universitario, fino allo sfinimento.Non vivevo.Volevo una laurea per dimostrare agli altri che valevo qualcosa, pur essendo figlia di due genitori disastrosi e membro di una famiglia socialmente emarginata.
Non importa le azioni che compi, importa con che intenzioni le fai
Fin da bambina ho evitato l'isolamento ed i conflitti, rimanendo sempre "sintonizzata" sui desideri degli altri. Probabilmente all'inizio e' stato un meccanismo di difesa per non subire ritorsioni e/o ricevere amore condizionato.
Oggi ho grandi difficolta' a comportarmi liberamente con gli altri. So cosa vogliono sentirsi dire e spesso dico esattamente quello.
Ma se smetto di farlo? Di solito questa gente scompare dalla mia vita. Io mi sento usata e senza valore. Quando qualcuno mi fa del male o si comporta negativamente con me credo sia stata colpa mia.
Forse incosciamente penso di essere stata una bambina sbagliata per avere subito le molestie che ho subito.
I admire people who accept only the best for themselves, who can say easily no, who believes in their value always and anyway. I have a Master Degree, but I have been studiing 10-12 hours a day to prepare each academic examination, up to feeling drained/dead.I was not living anymore.
A Master degree in my mind could prove others that I was worth, despite being the daughter of such disastrous parents and a socially marginalized family.
No matter what you do, what is important is the intentions that aim you.
I always tuned on others desires to act. Probably it began as a defense mechanism for not suffered rejection and/or receiving some conditional love. Today I have great difficulty to act freely with others. I know exactly, as empath, what they want to hear and often I say exactly that.
But what does happen if I stop to behave like that? Usually these people will disappear from my life suddendly. I will feel used and without value. When someone hurts me or act in a negative way against me I think it is my fault in some way.
Perhaps unconsciously I think of being a wrong child because I was molested.
I admire people who accept only the best for themselves, who can say easily no, who believes in their value always and anyway. I have a Master Degree, but I have been studiing 10-12 hours a day to prepare each academic examination, up to feeling drained/dead.I was not living anymore.
A Master degree in my mind could prove others that I was worth, despite being the daughter of such disastrous parents and a socially marginalized family.
No matter what you do, what is important is the intentions that aim you.
I always tuned on others desires to act. Probably it began as a defense mechanism for not suffered rejection and/or receiving some conditional love. Today I have great difficulty to act freely with others. I know exactly, as empath, what they want to hear and often I say exactly that.
But what does happen if I stop to behave like that? Usually these people will disappear from my life suddendly. I will feel used and without value. When someone hurts me or act in a negative way against me I think it is my fault in some way.
Perhaps unconsciously I think of being a wrong child because I was molested.
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